What a week!

It’s amazing how fast I find my life flying these days. Life is full and good! I am happy! This week was something else. I had 6 or 7 tests this week. I had lots of opportunities for spiritual conversations with my classmates. We had a variety show at the nursing home. My nursing class came over to my house for lunch on Thursday! I called my dad just to say hello and ended up talking to him for over an hour last night! I got so addicted to the 60s in Isaiah. I just cannot get enough of Isaiah 60-66. I was camped out there for quite a few days, until I moved on to Galatians and Ephesians. These were also very good. I love how often I read about the power of God working through us.

I woke up this morning and wanted to stay under my warm covers… I just wasn’t “feeling it” to get up and serve another day at the nursing home. I don’t know what exactly I thought I expected when I signed up to be a nurse, but for some reason I didn’t think that on my first day I would be changing an adult diaper that was very very very stinky and dirty. I kept having to look away and catch my breath. I actually threw up. I felt very humbled, though, that I would have the privilege to serve people in their most vulnerable ways. I feel God’s heart for those who cannot help themselves. I feel His burden for those who are far from Him and close to death. So, changing that diaper was not something I could just do really easy, forget about, and go on about my day. I’m sure you get used to stuff like that when you are a nurse. But I kept thinking about it all day, still feeling so humbled. The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced God wanted to show me something through that experience. That night as I was walking around my house and then lying down to sleep, I kept thinking about how Jesus has done so much for me. My sin is way stinkier than that diaper. He has seen me in my most vulnerable moments and He welcomes me. He takes me in and cleans me up.

There is a line in a Bethany Dillon song called “Let Your Light Shine” that says,

The Calmer of the sea
Here in this room with me
So gently welcoming
The weakest things in me

And isn’t that how God is? He knows us so intimately, sees all our weak parts, and gently welcomes us? Even in our weakness He totally enjoys us. And His power is made perfect in our weakness.

So back to the power thing that I mentioned earlier from Ephesians. Ephesians 1:19, 3:7, 3:16, and 3:20 all talk of this power:

• “what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe”
• “…of which I was made a minister, according to the gift of God’s grace which was given to me according to the working of His power.”
• “that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,”
• “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,”

Those are just the ones from Ephesians — there are many more examples in Scripture of the power of God working through us! Let me tell you, I have felt that power all week working through me. (Especially these last 3 days.) I woke up this morning and told my roommate as I walked out the door, “I need the strength of Jesus to do this day.” I was not in the best of spirits this morning. Not motivated. Not eager to bring the Kingdom into the nursing home. Not eager to do anything but get back under those warm covers. And yet at 7:42am I set forth in the strength of Jesus. Today was a day that I experienced His strength in me. There was one lady we took care of for about a full hour. Usually we are going from patient to patient for about 5-10 minutes each. I got to stay with one lady today and do a lot of things for her that she could not do for herself. I gave her a full bed bath… yeah, another one of those things I didn’t anticipate about nursing… and dressed her and then made her bed with clean sheets and mitered corners… and then learned how to use a lift to get her out of her bed and into her scooter chair. Wow… what a morning. She was a good sport about everything, thankfully! It was my first time to do a bed bath and to work the lift. And through all these things I just knew the power of God was on me because He has sent me to bring good news to the afflicted. It is an amazing feeling to know that in my own strength I have nothing, but through Christ can do ALL THINGS!

This morning I read Psalm 84-86. Psalm 84:5 says,

How blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage!

Jesus is my strength. I can do nothing without Him. My strength is in Him and He helps me.

“But Jesus Died for Me!”

This is a snippet from an old Elisabeth Elliot newsletter. It’s just so “Elisabeth Elliot” if you know what I mean. Her personality, her willingness to take up the cross… it’s just her:

It’s just an everyday example of faith and worship. I especially like the part where she said, “What a list of varied things to worry about. But Jesus died for me!” That sure calls for an attitude shift when you remember that awesome truth!

Dreaming with Your Eyes Wide Open

May I ask you today… are you trying to get God off your back, or dreaming with your eyes wide open about what He can do in and through you? Here’s a quote from a book I’m currently reading.

Your faith, your religion or spirituality, is not supposed to serve as a way to get God off your back. It’s not supposed to be a way to leverage your bets so that maybe you can get to heaven when you die. It’s not supposed to be just about some way to relieve your guilt and shame. Dreaming with your eyes open is about living life to the fullest and enjoying God and having him enjoy you. It’s about getting God into your soul, your heart, and your head, and letting him show you the dreams and plans he has for your life. When an infinite God comes to dwell in a finite being, dangerously beautiful things begin to happen. It is here where you become indomitable. The fire within you becomes an eternal flame that cannot be put out.

Erwin McManus, Wide Awake (p 117)

In the words of my friend Brazos Mason in response to that last line,

“Sign me up.”

Variety Show at the Nursing Home!

Today was my first day working as a student nurse in the nursing home! And today we had a variety show for the residents! A lot of people in the community came in to perform talents and entertain the precious old folks. I brought my guitar and sang that song called “Surely” God gave me 11 months ago. When I agreed to sing, I thought there would be about 10-15 residents there, but no! There were about 130 people of all ages from the community there, and I was so blessed when some people came up to me afterwards and told me how they really related to the song. And how they wanted to keep a copy of the lyrics to remember when times get tough.

I am so glad God would give an opportunity to bring His name and His Word into the nursing home so early. It was crazy the favor for His name’s sake that He is giving already. He is answering prayers. It’s like everywhere I go there is someone or some appointment there for me. Then another man who recently had a motorcycle accident asked for a “personal concert” since he was too sore to make it into the talent show room. How could I not?? He’s French and 65 and just a riot. I visited with him and his wife for awhile. He left me with a question to answer him with tomorrow: “What does your God want for your life?” He said there was one right answer. I finagled the answer out of him instead of waiting another day. He said, “The best.” God wants the best for you. I love that He will glorify Himself in my life and simultaneously give me His best. And actually, part of my song said, “So I wait for You Father and the good things You have for me.” Come to think of it, maybe that’s why he brought up that question.

Here are some pictures from the variety show that my classmate took!

The first act was this group of ladies doing a police officer scene…

I loved the glasses most of all…

That’s me in my scrubs singing “Surely”

The “Lollipop” song group!

My instructor dancing with one of my classmates!

He Remembers Us

“It is not my remembering God - it is God’s remembering me that is the ground of my safety; it is not my laying hold of His covenant, but His covenant’s laying hold on me.” C.H. Spurgeon

“and I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and never again shall the water become a flood to destroy all flesh.”

Genesis 9:15 indicates that it is God who remembers His covenant with us. It is not entirely dependent upon us to hold fast to His covenant — our role is not the end-all, be-all. He remembers and holds fast to us even in our weak moments where we don’t have an inkling of remembrance of Him. He is the Faithful One. He is a covenant keeper. He is the Beginning and the End!

Power after Overcoming

One of the hardest things for church people to understand is that our negative resume is where our greatest strength lies. It is not the things that I have not done that give me power, but rather the things I have overcome or recovered from. Do not misunderstand me. I am not saying that we should not be pure and obedient. But sometimes our purity may be due to the absence of opportunity, and sometimes our obedience may not be from the heart. A good case could be made that the essence of American Christianity is concealment. We encourage people to go underground with their sin. We pastors do it when continually tell our success stories from the pulpit, or when we preach an idealized version of the spiritual life that no one really lives. People in the church do it when they judge others. The message people get is “hide your sins if you do not want to be judged.” I find that people are encouraged when I share my failures publicly. Your story is very powerful, especially the part where you have gotten back up from a stumble, where you have recovered from a serious mistake. Your story is powerful because it is real. We need more real people in the church today and fewer religious people.

Jack Deere

fun weekend!

It’s been a nice weekend. On Friday night I had the best time. I came home from school, rested, sent a few emails, and got cleaned up and dressed up to go on a prayer date with Jesus! I love to take my Bible and journal to a restaurant like McAlister’s or a coffee shop, and sit there and just spend time with Him. It is a real treat. It was the highlight of my week. One word on that before I go to my next weekend events: I think the sweetest part of that time together was having no agenda with Him. What I mean is this. I was able to spend time with Him in a way that wasn’t all about “getting to the next point” or “arriving at a new level of victory” or “overcoming this or that struggle” — rather, that time was all about enjoying Him. And really all I ended up doing on that prayer date was laughing and writing funny things in my journal to Him. Like… this is funny… I said, “Lord Jesus - I’m so glad You rose from the dead –> You are alive and kickin’ forevermore! Kickin’ the devil in the teeth - that’s what You’re kickin!” and then later I wrote something like, “I love being loved by You! It’s like the best thing ever — scratch that! It is the best thing ever!” and then some other dorky things that are maybe a little too dorky for public.

On Saturday morning I slept in til about 8:30 or 9 and then got up and cleaned up the garage. I’m sure that Leah will be happy with it when she comes back home. Leah is my roommate. Her fiance passed away last August 12th and she has been grieving this year and writing a book about him. Since Wednesday she has been away working on her book. Caleb got her a hotel room at a great hotel!! She loved it. I’m ready for her to come back though! I know that she will be relieved by the garage organization because she likes things neat. After sweating my head off doing that, I ran some errands and tied up some loose ends that needed to be tied up. Then I went and studied awhile. I spent some more time journaling through financial things. There is a guy named Tim who I always see at the coffee shop and he gave me some really encouraging chapters to read about money. Luke 12, Ecclesiastes 5, and Psalm 49. Many times this weekend, including that afternoon when I was reading those chapters, I had the realization that Jesus really is all I need. He is all of my supply. All! He is all I need. He provides Himself for me. He provides full access to His throne. He says we can draw near with confidence to His throne of grace to receive mercy and find grace in time of need. Wow! So I rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. I believe Him for provision and in fact believe I already have it. I delight in the hope that through my life God will bring glory to His name. So whatever that means for my finances then yes Lord!

The rest of the night I did some laundry and talked to a good friend from high school, Kevin, for a long time. It was good to catch up and laugh my head off. We always tend to get into these theological discussions, probably because he is in seminary and always wants to pick my brain. We talked about - do we have one nature or two? Once we’re saved does our sinful nature still exist? Apparently there is a wide belief among Christians in academic circles that we only have one nature. I did not know this. I told Kevin that we talked about this 5 years ago when we were seniors in high school. So then he asked, “what did we decide?” I said, “We didn’t decide. We leaned toward 2 natures.” He said, “Well, we’re older so we need to make a decision.” HA! We talked about it more and still both lean toward 2 natures. Otherwise, I’m not sure how to reconcile the fact that I still sin. Yes, my old man is dead. Yes I have been crucified with Christ. Yes we are new creations. Yes yes yes - Jesus has won the victory. I’m just not sure how all that works. I’m not sure how a lot of stuff works actually.

Before church this morning I got to see my parents for a short while! They passed through and picked up something from me, and so it was good to see their faces and give them hugs and kisses! Then today church was amazing as always. I so love my church! I went to the new members class. Learned some really neat things about the church. I love that they operate a debt free budget and only build and expand when God’s provision has signified it. I love that everyone on the staff is on the same payscale - the pastor and his assistant make the same amount, and they get stipends according to each dependent they have, whether spouse or children. Love that too! So blessed to be part of this church family.

Then came the regular Sunday afternoon nap. My favorite. Mmmmmmmm. Delicious. And tonight I talked with Kyndall for a long time. It was a challenging and awesome and encouraging conversation. We talked some about Obama and the times and prayer and intercession. I want to read a book she’s been reading called Rees Howells: Intercessor. He lived in the early 1900s and has awesome God stories about prayer and provision. His life calls me to a greater level of faith. It’s like you don’t even know things like that are possible and then you read or hear his stories and you just don’t want to go back. There is so much more of God to be experienced. There is so much more of the impossible to be conquered. (On a side note I love how in church this morning, I was sitting behind Micah’s son, Jacob. He’s like 11 or 12. I loved how when we were worshiping to the song “Nothing is impossible for You” he was getting so excited and pumping his fists as he sang. Oh for the faith of a child!!) I told Kyndall that I love friends like her with whom I can tell full, unedited stories and not have to hold back what I’m really thinking. I can say what I want to say and she gets it. Love that. Later Brandon called, a friend from college, and we got to talk for a little while. That was encouraging too. We talked in part about this thing I was struggling through today about God’s character. It’s about wisdom and what part of the Trinity has the wisdom and is the wisdom. Anyway long story and complicated thoughts, but he had some good insights on it.

Then tonight I talked with a couple more friends, Zada and Bill, for another hour. They are a couple of my closest friends. I love them so dearly. I love how Zada told me the story of the Vietnamese lady who did her toenails at Wal-Mart. She got to share God’s love with her and has started a new friendship. They were asking me tonight how to get a bilingual Vietnamese and English Bible. If you have any connections, let me know. This is a picture of us earlier this summer.

Well I’m signing off to get rested up for my million tests this week. I have 3 regular anatomy tests, one anatomy final, one medical terminology final, and one nursing assistant test. Oh for the grace!

Wow, long post! Yay for a great weekend and great friends and conversations!!! I love my friends to death!

The Esther Havens

I would have to say that my favorite photographer is Esther Havens. Oh my stinking goodness. Her photos send chills up my spine. I knew her through a mutual friend years ago. Five years ago she did a photo shoot with my sisters and me for my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary gift. Since then she has been globetrotting like nobody’s business, working for a bunch of different non-profits and NGOs. She is a freelance photographer who has traveled to five continents and seeks to open hearts and minds to see the third world conditions in a way that might challenge them to make a difference.

And guess what!? Last night I got dressed up and went on a prayer date with Jesus… I was sitting there drawing in my journal…

when Esther Havens walked in!!!!! It was so good to catch up with her.

Go look at her photography site. You will be changed!

Worth the Wait; He’s Never Late

From an Ortberg book description:

“What God is doing within your heart while you wait is worth it—and our loving Creator is never late in His perfect plans!”

History of Health Care

From my nursing book… interesting…

Health care began many centuries ago in the home. The care and healing of the sick was the responsibility of the family and the community. Certain individuals within a town or village were often designated as caregivers or healers. These early caregivers went into the patient’s home to administer health care. The first hospitals were located in monasteries and other church buildings where members of religious groups provided care for the sick. Individuals who wanted to become caregivers often came to the hospital to live and work. These early caregivers received no pay, and patients were not usually charged for their medical care. Over the years, responsibility for caring for the sick shifted from religious groups to the public or government.